All business goes in cycles. After 2,500 years, the fad for business gamification is back in vogue ... and tattle. We at Z/Yen were applying our machine-learning tools to interpreting starling murmurations, as we do, when we remembered that, circa 500 BC, our forefathers and foremothers were using starlings to drive the artificial intelligence (AI) behind The Game Of Z/Yen. Taking a flight of commercial frenzy and leaving murmuration interpretation behind, we turned to matters of high commerce and cell(ul)ar archives.[1]

Back in the days of our founder, Chao Kli Ning, around the time of the Yen Buddhists, The Z/Yen Papers, aka Clean Business Cuisine, refer to the most fun, most educational, and most commercially lucrative game ever devised, based around the great man’s lucky dice. Demand for Game Of Z/Yen boards was so great that several primeval forests were denuded and the northern Himalayas were levelled into the plains we know today, just to feed the popular hunger to play. During the interregnum between the Zhou and Qin dynasties, the game was brutally suppressed to free up resources to feed the masses. Hoarding of Game Of Z/Yen boards was universally extensive, such that archaeological evidence of their existence is sparse … indeed, to all intents and purposes absent.

Thus, in this age of sequels, we have resolved to bring out The Game Of Z/Yen – Part Deux. Naturally, we realised that intellectual property rights are a hot topic, with several copyrights coming to an end soon. Drawing on wisdom from The Z/Yen Papers, we noted the following question for students with which the sacred texts conclude – “Draft a will for Chao Kli Ning which protects Z/Yen’s intellectual property rights for the benefit of Kli Ning’s immediate descendants and those of Lo Fan in perpetuity. Ensure that the will contains sufficient loopholes to provide you with substantial, personal risky rewards the Z/Yen way.”

Our first task had now been made clear. Turning to our 26 strong legal panel of Argle, Bargle, Cargle &c, we got to Zargle before anyone recommended looking at prior smarts. This zzz sounded much more interesting than bothering with game rules, board design, or late nights of computer graphic work with more AIs.

Much to our surprise, the intervening 25 centuries had seen some changes, and the student who completed the textbook question had left many loopholes indeed. Apparently, some time around the fifth century, there had been a schism where the ‘Y’ had been removed to found a competitive conglomerate of 'Zen'. Splitters! As historians know, this estrangement led to the notorious white rice and brown rice divide which continues to this day.

While for centuries Zen stuck to its religious market, recent moves into soft drinks, cloud computing, and fidget spinners are more threatening. You can see Zen’s cultural appropriation in the use of words such as ‘fro-zen’, from animated movies to ready meals, clearly mimicking our core philosophical approach, ‘chill’; let alone their martial philosophical marching hymn, “Let it go, let it go.” We couldn’t. We were incensed. The battle lines were drawn.

Turning to our 26 strong legal panel of Argle, Bargle, Cargle &c, they were unanimous that we should sue. But what if there were another way? We did not believe in a conspirac theor based on the existence of powerful and sinister groups trying to keep down The Game Of Z/Yen by keeping the ‘Y’ out. Perhaps we could inspire people, to put the ‘Y’ back where it belongs, an inspiracy theory you might say.

So from today onwards, we hope to inspire people to “put the ‘Y’ back!”. We deniz-yens ask you to be braz-yen and wiz-yen up:

• froz-yen takes longer to defrost;
• no longer do you need to refer to a Baker’s Dozen, just call it a doz-yen;
• get your nautical terms straight, it’s the mizz-yen mast.

Citiz-yens of the world unite, you have nothing to lose but your e-wallyets! Oh, and buy a copy of our super-duper, highly addictive Game Of Z/Yen as soon as we bring it out.

[1] The starlings appeared to be messaging the dolphins who had said to the planet, "So long and thanks for all the fish", when the starlings intercepted a disturbing reply from the squids, "So long to you too and thanks for all the humans".

[2] We're lazy too and asked OpenAI's ChatGPT, "What might Z/Yen say on April fool's day?" The reply, set out below, was inspiracy-ational:

"As an AI language model, I cannot predict with certainty what Z/Yen or any other individual might say on April Fool's Day, as it depends on their personality, sense of humo[u]r, and cultural background. However, here are some potential examples of what Z/Yen might say on April Fool's Day:

• "We've invented a new cryptocurrency that will make you a millionaire overnight. Just kidding! Always be wary of get-rich-quick schemes."
• "I'm changing my name to Z/Yolo for a fresh start. Just kidding! I'm proud of my name and wouldn't change it for the world.""

[3] For other Z/Yen answers, including pronunciation, see Z/Yen's FAQs.

[With thanks to Mark Duff for archival research, as well as OpenAI’s DALL-E for collaboration on the second image, "the ultimate universal 3d game board in the Himalayas futuristic with monastery".]