Book Of The Year

Scribble scribble scribble, eh Messrs Harris and Mainelli? Yes, the terrible twins have been at it again; their second book is out - Information Technology for the Not-for-Profit Sector, ICSA Publishing, ISBN 1860721303 (order early to avoid disappointment). This book is truly a first on this subject and much needed in the sector. Much like latter-day Woody Allen movies, the new book has fewer laughs than the seminal Clean Business Cuisine: Now and Z/Yen, Milet Publishing, ISBN 1840592273 (order today to beat the rush). Having achieved Sunday Times "Book of the Week" and Waterstone’s "Christmas Recommended" with Clean Business Cuisine, the lads are holding out great hopes for the new title – nomination for the Sleepless in Seattle award has already led to rumours of talks with Spielberg over movie rights.

Janie and Elisabeth, who were often weekend widows during the book’s creation, have demanded assurances that the authors give it (their public) a rest. Now & Z/Yen can exclusively reveal the solemn promise the girls extracted from the lads: "never again, until the next one".

Z/Yen’s 21st

We haven’t been going that long, but we now have 21 active banking clients. Jeremy, Shelley and Giles are wrapping up their third benchmarking survey of the year and two more are planned for the autumn. Jeremy’s proposed marketing slogan "We Rank the Banks" was rightly thrown out (it stank) for "Optimising Value in Financial Services Processing". A set of marketing material has been developed on this second theme - further details from Jeremy.

Sweep Of The Month

When Michael Mainelli announced that he was going to "pop in to the office for half-an-hour" during a day’s leave, the Z/Yen aficionados sniggered. Some bright spark suggested a sweepstake on how long Michael would actually stay. Giles Wright won by guessing 140 minutes; very close to the actual "145 minute half-hour". Ian Harris was fuming that he came second with 165 minutes despite inside knowledge. Michael, naturally, was oblivious to the whole thing, although he and Giles were later seen swapping cash in a dark alley – probably Giles’ debts to the coffee pool. Sweepstakes are very risk/reward, so Now & Z/Yen is seeking ideas for future sweeps. Suggestions so far:

• How many runs Ian Harris will score in the Children’s Society cricket match (except that everyone wants to bet on the duck’s egg);
• How many times Z/Yen’s social awayday is rescheduled due to clients.

Location, Location, Location

Our property sector work keeps expanding, but the location stays the same. First we start marketing on S.B. Lady Daphne – a boat. Then Michael accepts a non-exec directorship with CityAxis, a design-manage-construct firm (more later) which requires him to attend the property sector’s Little Britain race – on a boat. Then Michael is invited to give a keynote presentation at the Property Forum in September on P&O’s Arcadia – a boat. So where’s all the dry land our clients manage?

Gentlemen (And Ladies) – Start Your Stochastic Perception Engines!

We are pleased to announce the completion of a major software programme which we have been helping to manage with HTTP (see previous issue). Over 60,000 lines of highly technical C++ code have been delivered in a project which started in late February. We have great hopes for the software, including breakthroughs in cancer detection and many forms of forecasting. Now, can anyone explain what "stochastic" means? Answers on 23 postcards to Jeremy Smith.